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FAIR TRADE - PILOT EPISODE
2008-08-13 17:51:03
I AM SO INCREDIBLY EXCITED THAT BRETT FAVRE IS HERE IN NEW YORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I have received a grant from the government (any government will do), I will commission a study solely devoted to the eradication of the gene that makes some people not care about football. There is right and wrong in this world. And people that do not like football are incorrect.
But! Until my government check’s in the mail, I’m going to have to deal with these poor unfortunate souls who like silly unimportant things, like “baseball” and “girlfriends.” Ugh.
And ONE way of dealing with non-footballishness is to start a new segment in honor of Brett Favre’s move to the Jets (JET FAVRE!). We’ll call it FAIR TRADE.
Simple rules: I invite a person onto the blog, and they offer trades.
What’re we trading?
Marvel characters for other companies’ characters.
For example: Spider-Man for Batman, straight up. That seems fair, right? Both mega-popular, both sell well, both have big movie franchises. Done deal.
But part of the fun of this will be the complex trades. For instance: Would you trade Blue Beetle/Booster Gold for Wonder Man/Beast? I wouldn’t. I think Marvel would have to pony up at least a member of the Runaways before DC lets Blue and Gold go.
So I’ll be bringing in guests and having them give their Top-5 Wish List for characters they want, and what Marvel characters they’d trade away to get them.
First up: My Uncle Charlie! (or, as others call him, Jordan D. White) We'll use him as the guinea pig for this first installment.
Jordan! Hit me with your Top-5.
JORDAN:
1. You said it, we need Booster and Beetle. I think Wonder Man is a good trade for Booster, actually, but I think Moon Knight can trade for Beetle. THEN, since that is a little skewed, and you get some synergy from Blue & Gold you don’t from Wondy/Moon, I’ll throw in Vision for Skeets, which is clearly skewed for them.
2. I want the Marvel Family. It’s tough to pick something equitable… I’d LIKE to trade them for OUR Captain Marvel. Heck, all of them. But I fee like they would not go for that. How about Cap and Bucky? That seems pretty fair.
3. Jimmy Olson. Love the guy. How’s about Jimmy for… Well, let’s go with Rick Jones. Pretty straightforward.
4. John Constantine. Can we get him for Doctor Strange? I’d like to try. Constantine is just… so much more interesting.
5. How about… Promethea. Alan Moore’s psychedelic, all-encompassing, magic-explaining, woman of fiction was a complete blast. Now, she’s not that famous, but she’s really well written. So, how about… Scarlet Witch?
Whaddya think?
NATE:
1. UNFAIR! Marvel owes a little more. C’mon, it’s BLUE & GOLD. Wonder Man’s virtually an unknown, and I’ve never read a Moon Knight comic. Booster and Beetle come over here, Marvel’s gotta pony up one more B/C-level character.
2. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…that’s very interesting. I’m verrrrrrry tempted…would you throw in the Invaders (minus Namor)?
3. UNFAIR! A person on the street MIGHT know Jimmy Olsen, since he’s so ingrained into the culture. No one cares about Rick Jones (even if he is currently blue and shaped like an armadillo).
4. FAIR! I don’t care about either of these.
5. UNFAIR! I agree, she’s waaaaaaaay more interesting, but Scarlet Witch is a high commodity recently, since she’s the been the crux of HUGE stories that I haven’t read.
JORDAN:
Hmph. Ok.
1. Oh, come on. Fine. I’ll give you Ultron. Ok?
2. The Invaders? Well, Human Torch is the first Marvel Hero. So, no. But I will give you Spitfire, Union Jack, Whizzer, and the Thin Man. They can Join the JSA.
3. They are both teen sidekick supporting characters! Hmph.FINE! I’ll give you Mary jane for Jimmy Olsen. That way, it will take away this whole Spider-Marriage controversy, and MJ can break up Supes and Lois. Meanwhile, Jimmy will work at the Bugle as a competitor of Peter.
4. OK.
5. Scarlet Witch has appeared as a plot device. Promethea can do anything Wanda can do, plus way more.
NATE:
1. ULTRON!? I asked for a B/C-level character! Think smaller!
2. FAIR!
3. NOW you’re thinkin’! FAIR!
4. FAIR!
5. Whatever. I don’t know anything about either of them. And Alan Moore would make a good comic no matter who he was writing about. FAIR!
JORDAN:
Ultron is an A level character?!? Since when? Grrr. Ok, look… Booster, Beetle, and Skeets for Wonder Man, Moon Knight, Vision, and Tigra. OK? She is B level. They can have their own JLWest Coast, and we can have an Avengers International. Ok?
NATE:
Pleasure doin’ business with ya.
-FINAL TRADE ANALYSIS-
1. WONDER MAN / MOON KNIGHT / VISION / TIGRA
for BLUE BEETLE / BOOSTER GOLD / SKEETS
2. CAPTAIN AMERICA / BUCKY / SPITFIRE / UNION JACK / WHIZZER / THIN MAN
for CAPTAIN MARVEL / MARY MARVEL / CAPTAIN MARVEL JR.
3. MARY JANE
for JIMMY OLSEN
4. DOCTOR STRANGE
for JOHN CONSTANTINE
5. PROMETHEA
for SCARLET WITCH
yeah, no
look I know The Big Red Cheese carries alot of 50's nostalgia
but you'd have to be retarded to ship off Captain America/Bucky
DC can barely figure out a way to use the Marvel Family as it is, Cap/Bucky has been like Marvels crown Jewel for the last 4 years
Posted by scorpionspupil on 2008-08-13 23:37:46
i agree
I agree with Scorpion. No way you trade Cap/Bucky, especially now, for Captain Marvel et al. The Cap book is as good now as it's ever been, and I don't know if anyone (other than MAYBE Jeff Smith) has an appealing take on the Shazam crew.
Posted by joeshan on 2008-08-14 17:24:28
trades
I think you do the CA/Marvel's trade just to finally get all the Marvels at Marvel. Throw in Mary's recent wardrobe as a bonus.
Posted by izzatrix on 2008-08-15 11:29:08
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About this blog:
This is a blog for kids, featuring ONLY comics (and maybe movies and tv shows and GASP! books) that are for kids. You can keep your World War Hulks and your Civil Wars and your Punishers...let's have some fun! I'm bringin' over Spidey and Thor and we're havin' a PILLOW FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!
 | About the author:
Nathan Cosby has somehow managed to become an assistant editor at Marvel Comics. He can make helicopter sounds with his tongue and edits Power Pack, Marvel Adventures Fantastic Four, Spider-Man Family and helps with all the other All-Age stuff. He is really good-looking and likes Gummi Bears.
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